Emotions and Stress

So I think I had one of those days this weekend when you feel all sorts of impending doom and just stress. As you read in books, blogs, etc they talk about having fun with everything. A lot of this planning stuff is a lot of fun. Picking colors, figuring out various things. But some of it can be stressful, how do you choose a florist? How do you pick a bridesmaid dress that everyone will approve… list goes on. Laura and I went on Sunday to the swanky high tea at the Coronado ballroom, which is absolutely beautiful. Before my Mom passed we had brunch there and she walked Tim and I and showed us how amazing it was and I think she really wanted me to have my reception there. Well reality check, they have an 18k min and well were just plain rude and slightly obnoxious in their reply to us. So I would not suggest them as a vendor just based on their interaction w/ us. As Laura and I sat there drinking tea and being served some nice little foods I thought about how much Mom would’ve loved something like this. One thing about my Mom was that prior to chemo, she loved the tea. She would drink it all the time. Funny how tea could bring tears to my eyes. Anyways I also thought about how I felt like Mom would know how to do everything. What’s the proper etiquette for this and who must I invite and who can be left off the list. All the Mom things that she knew. I know because of her I’m an amazing strong woman, but this was the first time it really hit me hard how much I missed her in this process. I know others are helping, however no one is the same as your Mom. So the rest of the day was just an emotional blah day. So that’s where I was this weekend. Lovely eh? I do know I have wonderful and loving family and plenty of help for everything and anything I need, its just the one person you wish could help you with something is a little unavailable. Big time bummer!

So I'll keep trucking on... I know somehow things will fall into place. They always do. I might just have to take a lil break from everything for a week or so. Maybe that'll help!